The Third Shift: Why the Weight of Caring for Elderly Parents Still Falls on Women

Three active roles for women in everyday life

There are Australians who currently have three active roles in everyday life; this is referred to as three shifts. 

• The first shift is paid work. 
• The second is the domestic labour that still falls disproportionately on women, such as cooking, cleaning, and school runs. 
• The third shift, as Ruppanner and her colleagues describe it, is the mental and emotional management work that holds everything together: the planning, coordinating, anticipating and worrying that happens in the background of everything else.

For women caring for an ageing parent, the third shift takes on a specific and often underacknowledged dimension. It means researching what the Support at Home changes mean for Mum's care plan. It means coordinating with siblings who are willing in principle but somehow less available in practice. It means being the person the GP calls during work hours. It means holding the medication schedule in your head while also meeting a deadline and picking up the kids.

This is the reality of the sandwich generation: women in their 40s and 50s raising children while simultaneously managing the growing care needs of elderly parents. And it doesn't show up in any job description.

Family Management & the carer's role still falls on the women

Australian fathers are doing more hands-on childcare than a generation ago. Research from the Australian Institute of Family Studies in 2024 found that just over one in three couple-families now share it equally. But societal expectations still place the cognitive work of family management predominantly on mothers, even when they are fully employed.

The same dynamic plays out when parents age. The unspoken assumption. In families, in workplaces, in the broader community, it is that a daughter will step in. She'll manage the care needs, navigate the system, and make the calls. Research consistently bears this out.

What does it cost women beyond the hours?

Professor Kate Huppatz, a sociologist at Western Sydney University who specialises in gender, labour and care, says younger women are increasingly tuned in to the costs they're watching their mothers absorb, and it's shaping their choices. She believes the sight of mothers managing "contradictions of caregiving"; torn between career and family, stretched across generations, exhausted by competing expectations, is influencing whether younger women want to take on the same path.

For the women already in the middle of it, the financial consequences are real and lasting. Female primary carers are significantly less likely to work full-time than their male counterparts. Many reduce hours, turn down promotions, or exit the workforce entirely at precisely the age they should be building toward retirement. Taking a permanent hit to their superannuation and long-term financial security.

Financial stress among Australian carers has risen from 51% in 2020 to 59% in 2024. Psychological distress is climbing too. And the people experiencing it most acutely are those providing the most intensive, ongoing care, often without recognition, let alone support.

None of this makes these women reluctant carers. Most say they would make the same choices again. But there is a meaningful difference between choosing to be present in a parent's care and being the only person holding everything together.

Getting support doesn't mean stepping back

One of the most practical things a family can do, particularly a daughter already stretched across work, her own household and a parent's growing needs, is bring in professional care support that's genuinely trustworthy. Not just help, but accountable, expert care from people who are properly screened, qualified and there for the right reasons.

At Just Better Care, every team member undergoes a federal criminal history check before entering a client's home. Our support workers are screened, qualified and employed directly. Which means there's a Just Better Care office accountable for the quality of every visit, every time.

The myJBC app is particularly valuable for adult children managing a parent's care from a distance. Rather than relying on second-hand updates or making the long drive whenever something comes up, you can visit notes, track what's been done and stay in direct contact with the local Just Better Care office from wherever you are. It won't remove the caring instinct, but it does remove the information anxiety that so often drives the exhaustion.

You can be present without carrying it all

What Ruppanner, Huppatz and their colleagues are describing isn't a generation of women who want to abandon their families. It's a generation that has watched their mothers work themselves to exhaustion under an unacknowledged load, and who want something better. For the women already in that position, professional care support is one of the most concrete changes they can make.

Bringing Just Better Care into a parent's home isn't about stepping back. It's about being able to show up as a son or daughter again, rather than as a part-time case manager. The daily support, the qualified care and the logistical coordination become someone else's responsibility. The relationship stays yours.

Just Better Care is here to help

The third shift doesn't have to be something one person carries alone. Just Better Care is here to help share it. With expert support services, properly vetted team members, and offices right across the country ready to help when and where you need them.

Get the right support in place

Wherever you are in the journey, starting to look into options, gathering information, or ready to bring care into a parent's home, there's a Just Better Care office near you ready to help share the load.

Find your local Just Better Care office

You can also download the Just Better Care private home care brochure below, or read our full guide to private in-home aged care for parents.

Related reading

• The Sandwich Generation in Australia: Planning Private Care with Confidence →
• Private in-home aged care for parents →
• The importance of respite for carers →
• How to talk about home care with your family →