In this article:

Your parents may be showing small but important signs that living independently is getting harder, and as one of many adult children quietly supporting ageing parents, you can take early practical steps. Noticing patterns of change, starting gentle conversations, arranging a My Aged Care assessment, and exploring government-funded Support at Home or private (self-funded) care to help them stay safe at home while staying connected through tools like the My JBC App.
If you are the one in the family who has started to worry about mum or dad, you are not alone. This guide walks through the practical signs an older parent may need extra support at home, the trigger moments to watch for, and the next steps you can take in Australia in 2026.

If you have reached this page, you have probably already noticed something. The pile of unopened letters on the kitchen bench. The fridge smells a little off. The fact that mum or dad did not want to talk about the unexplained bruises or their suddenly no longer interested in their regular sporting commitments like Lawn Bowls on Thursday afternoons.

Most parents can keep up the act on the phone: "I'm fine, dad's just out walking, the garden's lovely." A long in-person visit usually reveals a more telling reality. In our experience, for this reason, calls to our local Just Better Care offices spike on the Tuesday after a long weekend, and in the first few weeks after school holidays, almost always from an adult child in the family who has returned home from visiting their mum or dad and is seeking to understand options for in-home support.

If you're the son or daughter of an ageing parent, this article is for you!

Most aged care content is written for the older person. This one is written for you. The family member who feels the burden of doing the right thing by their parents, the worrying, the coordinating and navigating the aged care system

You might have arrived at this article after a call from the hospital. After your mum has had a fall or after a visit to your family home where things didn't feel quite right and looked different from what you expected.  Or you might just have a feeling that something has shifted. In these cases, it's always best to trust your instinct.

Whatever brought you here, this is the first and most important step to seeking a solution and supporting your parents to stay safe in their own homes with professional support from Just Better Care.

You are not alone in feeling this responsibility for your parents

Around 3 million Australians provide informal care for someone older, or living with disability.

According to ABS Survey of Disability, Ageing and Carers, 2022, that's about 12% of the population. 

Many of them are people like you: adult children in their 40s and 50s, balancing work, their own families, and the growing needs of a parent, all at the same time. There's even a name for it: the sandwich generation, and if that term resonates, you're in good company.

Getting professional support to make an informed choice

The pressure of that position is real. It can mean long weekend drives, missed events, and a constant background hum of worry about whether your parent is okay. It can also mean feeling unsure about what support is actually available, and feeling like you're failing to meet your expectations for a son or daughter. Professional support doesn't mean stepping back from your parent. For many families, it means finally being able to show up as a son or daughter again, rather than both a son and a full-time carer.

3 million
Australians provide informal care
Around 12% of the population, including someone older, living with disability, or a chronic illness.
59%
Are aged 45 to 64
Of primary carers in Australia who are caring for a parent.

Source: ABS Survey of Disability, Ageing and Carers, 2022

Did you know?

Among Australians with disabilities who receive informal help at home, the share of help coming from an adult child rose from 27% in 2018 to 32% in 2022. In other words, more adult children than ever are quietly stepping in for their parents, and very few of them feel ready for it.

Source: ABS Survey of Disability, Ageing and Carers, 2022

Signs your parent may need extra support at home

No single sign is a crisis on its own. What matters are the patterns. As you read the next few sections, it is worth keeping a quiet mental tally. One missed bill is normal. A pile of unopened mail, a new bruise no one wants to explain, and a parent who has stopped going to their Tuesday morning group all in the same fortnight is a pattern, and patterns are what tell you it is time to act.

The signs sit across six everyday areas of life. Few families notice them in all six at once. Many notice them in three, and that is usually enough to start the conversation.

1. Around the house

For most families, the first signs your parent may need extra Support at Home are in the house itself. Mail that used to be opened on the day it arrived now sits in a pile on the kitchen bench. Bills get paid twice, or not at all. The fridge holds food that should have been thrown out a week ago, and the same leftovers keep reappearing. Cleanliness in the bathroom, kitchen, and laundry slips in ways that would never have been acceptable a year ago. Burn marks appear on tea towels, on the bench near the stove, and on the base of saucepans. Plants die, the dog stops being walked, and the garden grows over. None of these is dramatic. Together, over a few weeks, they tell you that the everyday running of a household has quietly become harder than the person inside it is willing to admit.

2. Personal care and grooming

Personal care is one of the most sensitive categories, and often one of the last things a parent will talk about. The signs are small. The same clothes are worn for several days in a row. Stains that have not been noticed. Hair, nails or shaving that have been let go. A new body odour, usually the result of showering becoming difficult or frightening, is quietly being skipped. Weight loss visible in the way clothes hang. Showering is often the very first task an older person drops without telling anyone.

3. Health, mobility and falls

New bruises with no clear explanation are almost always falls that a parent has not mentioned. So is the habit of holding onto furniture, walls or door frames to move around the house. Avoiding the stairs or starting to sleep in a chair to avoid the bedroom is another quiet sign that mobility has changed. Watch for unexplained weight loss, low appetite or a loss of interest in food. Look at the pill organiser: if it is full when it should be empty, or empty in the wrong week, medication is no longer being taken correctly.

Why falls deserve special attention

12x
More likely to be hospitalised for a fall if you're aged 65 or over, compared with adults aged 25 to 44.
10,283
Hospitalisations per 100,000 people for Australians aged 85 and over have the highest fall hospitalisation rate of any age group.
53%
Of all hospitalisations in Australia, fractures are the most common type of fall injury.

Source: Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, Injury in Australia: Falls, 2023–24 data.

Falls are the leading cause of injury hospitalisations and injury deaths among Australians aged 65 and over, accounting for around 77% of injury hospital admissions in this age group. Even a fall without injury can change confidence overnight, and a parent who has had one quiet fall is much more likely to have another.

4. Memory, concentration and decision-making

Occasional forgetfulness is a normal part of ageing. A pattern of forgetfulness is not. Watch for the same question or story being repeated within minutes. Forgotten appointments, names of grandchildren, and the day of the week. Confusion with familiar appliances like the TV remote, the microwave or the washing machine, which are devices a parent has used for decades. Trouble following a conversation with more than one person in the room. These are not signs of laziness or stubbornness, nor are they signs that anyone is failing. They are signs that something in the way the brain is working has changed, and the kindest thing a family can do is treat them seriously.

446,500
Australians are living with dementia in 2026
Two in three live in the community rather than in residential care, and around 1.7 million family members and friends are involved in their care.

Source: Dementia Australia and the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, 2026

If what you are seeing feels like more than ordinary forgetfulness, it is worth asking your parents' GP for a cognitive assessment, and reading more about specialised dementia support across the Just Better Care network. Earlier conversations almost always make later decisions easier.

5. Mood, motivation and social connection

Older people rarely use the word "depressed". What you will see instead is withdrawal from friends, from family, from clubs and church groups and the activities they used to look forward to. A flat mood, irritability or sadness that has lasted more than a few weeks. New anxiety about leaving the house, driving, or being alone. Loss of interest in the small joys that defined their week: the hobbies, the reading, the gardening, the music. Each one quietly switched off. These changes often arrive after a partner's death, a hospital stay or a fall, and they are some of the most important signs to take seriously because isolation makes everything else on this list worse.

6. Driving and getting around safely

The car often tells you more than the conversation will. Fresh scratches and dents that appear without explanation. Getting lost on familiar routes, or arriving late and shaken. Driving more slowly, more hesitantly, or in the wrong lane. A new refusal to drive at night, in the rain, or in heavy traffic is usually a sign that confidence has already begun to slip well before the family notices. Driving is bound up with independence in a way few other tasks are, which is exactly why it is often the hardest one to raise. It is also one of the most important.

Important to know

Family carers in Australia are far more likely than non-carers to report poor health and high loneliness. Just 17% of carers describe their health as good or excellent, compared to 46% of other Australians, and 40% report high levels of loneliness compared to 14%. If you recognise yourself in this, you are the trigger moment as much as anything else on the list.

Source: Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, Informal carers, 2025

Having the conversation about in-home aged care with your parents

Bringing up home care with a parent can feel daunting, but it doesn't have to be a big, heavy conversation. Starting early makes a real difference because it means there's no pressure, no crisis in the background, and your parent gets to be part of the decision rather than have it made for them.

The easiest way in is to focus on what they want, not what they can no longer do. Questions like "What would make day-to-day life a bit easier for you?" or "If you ever needed a hand at home, what would feel comfortable?" keep things open without anyone feeling like they're being managed.

If your parent pushes back, that's pretty common. Most people worry that accepting help means giving something up, so the resistance is rarely about the help itself. A few things that work:

  • Listen before you respond.
  • Avoid leading with facts or solutions.
  • Suggest something small rather than a big commitment.

A trial of a few hours of support a week is a much easier yes than "we think you need help."

If the conversation keeps stalling, it can help to bring in a Just Better Care team member who can talk through what support looks like day-to-day in a relaxed, no-pressure way.

Arranging care for a parent or loved one

Once a family has agreed it is time to act, the practical steps come into focus. The Australian aged care system is built around the older person, but in practice, most arrangements are made by an adult child with the parent's consent. Here are seven practical things that tend to make the process faster, smoother, and less stressful for families, including ones most families do not realise exist until they are halfway through.

Seven practical things to get sorted

1

Start the My Aged Care application together

Applying for an aged care assessment is free, takes 15 to 20 minutes, and is the entry point to almost every government-funded service in Australia. Apply online at myagedcare.gov.au or by phone on 1800 200 422.

2

Register as a supporter at the same time

Probably the most-missed practical step. Under the new Aged Care Act 2024, a registered supporter is a trusted family member or friend who is formally recognised by My Aged Care. The easiest place to set it up is as Part C of the online application; otherwise, the assessor can register you at the assessment, or you can call an Aged Care Specialist Officer on 1800 227 475. You can have more than one, which is useful when siblings share the load.

3

If your parent can't consent, sort the legal authority first

If your parent is living with advanced dementia or significant cognitive impairment and cannot legally provide consent, you will need to be set up as an Appointed Decision-Maker rather than just a registered supporter. Dementia Australia's National Dementia Helpline (1800 100 500) can talk you through the options.

4

Gather the documentation before the assessment

Nothing here is formally required, but families who walk in with it find the assessment moves faster and lands more accurately. Have ready: your parents' Medicare card; a current list of medications and doses; GP and specialist contact details; a list of current health conditions; and notes on any recent hospital stays or falls. A simple page is enough. See how you prepare for an ACAT assessment.

5

Be at the in-home assessment, and be honest

A trained assessor will visit your parent at home and complete an aged care needs assessment, covering health, mobility, home set-up and daily living. The assessment outcome is a Notice of Decision letter titled "Outcome of your application for funded aged care services", and a support plan listing the approved services and pathway.

6

Agree on a family communication plan

Decide which adult child is the main point of contact for the provider and for My Aged Care. For families with multiple siblings or an interstate family, write it down. The provider will send paperwork, funding letters and monthly statements, and the wrong inbox is a common cause of missed deadlines. If you are a registered supporter, you can access this correspondence through your own My Aged Care Online Account, but information sharing stays at the older person's discretion.

7

Pre-research providers while you wait for funding

After approval, your parent goes onto the Support at Home Priority System and waits for government funding to become available. Wait time depends on the priority category (urgent, high, medium or standard) and the approval date. Use that wait. Visit one or two local Just Better Care offices in person, meet the team who would be sending support workers into your parents' home, and read 25 Reasons to Choose Just Better Care for Home Care or the shorter 10 Reasons to Choose Just Better Care to see what families tell us matters most. The single best question to ask is about continuity of support workers: the same familiar faces, week after week. Families notice that more than anything else, once services begin. If your family cannot afford to wait, a hospital discharge, a sudden decline, or a primary carer who has reached their limit, private home care with Just Better Care can usually be arranged within days, with no funding allocation required.

Two time windows every family should know

After your parents' Notice of Decision letter, they wait on the Support at Home Priority System until government funding is allocated. Once the Funding Allocation letter arrives, the family has 56 days to enter into a service agreement with a provider and start services. A 28-day extension is available by calling My Aged Care on 1800 200 422 (84 days total). If services do not start in that window, the funding is withdrawn and reallocated. To rejoin the priority list, your parent (or you, as their registered supporter) will need to call My Aged Care.

Source: My Aged Care, Assessment outcome: Support at Home; Department of Health, Disability and Ageing, How the Support at Home program works.

What support at home means in Australia

In-home aged care in Australia covers a much wider range of support than most families realise. It includes everything from a few hours of cleaning and meal preparation to personal care like showers and dressing, to allied health, social support, transport, and clinical care.

In 2026, there are two government-funded pathways. The Commonwealth Home Support Program provides entry-level support for older people who need a small mix of services to keep living independently. The Support at Home program is the broader, ongoing program that replaced Home Care Packages and Short-Term Restorative Care. For families ready to compare the two side by side, our full guide to the Commonwealth Home Support Program and Support at Home walks through what changed, what stayed the same and where to start. It's important to note that you cannot choose which program you get, you are provided the program, funding and support plan based on your assessed needs.

A third option for many families

If your family is not eligible for government funding or wants to add hours and services to an existing package, private (self-funded) home care with Just Better Care is the third pathway. Because private care sits outside the Support at Home funding model, with no 10% care management deduction, no bundled program overhead, and no quarterly budget, the hourly rate is often lower than the rate charged under Support at Home. Rates are set by each local Just Better Care office and explained at the time of enquiry. Many families use private hours in the short term to bridge the gap while they wait for their My Aged Care funding to be allocated, or alongside government-funded support for added flexibility.

How Just Better Care supports families

Just Better Care is a national network of locally owned and operated offices across Australia, run by Franchise Owners who live in the communities they serve. Every office sends Just Better Care team members trained in person-centred, in-home support across aged care and disability. What that looks like in practice for families:

1

Local, not call-centre

Every Just Better Care office is locally owned and operated. The person who answers the phone is in your community, not in a national queue.

2

The same friendly faces, week after week

Continuity of support workers is built into the way Just Better Care offices recruit, train, and roster their team members. That continuity matters for every older person, and matters even more for anyone living with dementia.

3

Specialised dementia support across the network

With an estimated 446,500 Australians living with dementia in 2026, and two in three of them living in the community, specialised dementia support at home is a core part of what Just Better Care offices provide.

4

Private home care for families outside the government system

Private home care is available for families who are not eligible for government funding, or who simply want additional hours on top of a Support at Home or Commonwealth Home Support Program funding package.

5

Family-friendly, including from a distance

Open communication with adult children, including those living interstate or overseas, is built into the way Just Better Care offices operate. The award-winning My JBC App puts your loved one's schedule, support team and wellbeing updates directly on your smartphone, wherever you are. It also lets approved family members request visit changes, access statements, and join video appointments. Read more about aged care with Just Better Care.

Staying connected, wherever you are

One of the biggest anxieties for adult children arranging care for a parent is not being there. Whether you live across the city or across the country, there's a particular kind of worry that comes from not knowing what's happening day to day. One practical way Just Better Care addresses this is the My JBC App, a purpose-built tool that gives approved family members real-time visibility into their parents' care. You can see upcoming visits, check what's been completed, and stay in the loop without having to chase anyone for an update.

The app also makes it straightforward to manage the practical side of care as your parents' needs change. Scheduling is easier to view and adjust, and if something needs to shift an appointment, a routine, or a visit time, you can request changes through the app rather than playing phone tag. Secure access to key information, including health notes and appointment details, is permission-based, so the right people are kept informed without compromising your parent's privacy. And if you want to share feedback or raise an issue with the local Just Better Care team, there's a direct channel for that, too.

What it adds up to is something that's harder to put a name to: confidence. The background hum of worry doesn't disappear entirely when a parent needs care, but knowing you can check in at any time, see that a visit happened, and reach the care team directly makes a real difference. For families managing care from a distance, or simply trying to stay on top of things while juggling everything else, the My JBC App is one of the more tangible ways Just Better Care keeps you connected to what matters.

Ready to talk to someone local?

Find your nearest Just Better Care office and have a no-pressure conversation about what support could look like for your mum or dad.

Frequently asked questions

What is the very first sign an older parent may need extra support at home that is a real red flag?

There is rarely a single first sign. The pattern that tends to matter most is a change across two or more categories within a few weeks. For example, the home looks different, there's a new bruise, and there's a withdrawn mood. A fall, a missed medication week or a kitchen burn mark are all signs to act on quickly because they carry real safety risk.

My parent refuses help. What can we do?

Lead with what you have noticed rather than what you think your parent should do. Frame extra support as a way to protect independence at home, not as a way to remove it. If the conversation stalls, ask the GP to raise it at the next appointment, first agree with siblings on a shared view, and revisit it after the next trigger moment, such as a fall or a hospital visit.

Can support start before the My Aged Care assessment is finished?

Yes. A family can begin private home care services straight away while the My Aged Care assessment is being arranged. Many Australian families use private hours in the short term to bridge the gap, then move to government-funded supports once the assessment is complete, and a Support at Home classification is in place.

My parent just got approved for Support at Home. What do I do next?

Approval is the start of a sequence, not the finish line. Your parent will first receive a Notice of Decision letter titled "Outcome of your application for funded aged care services", confirming any approvals. Usually one of eight ongoing Support at Home classifications, and potentially a short-term pathway such as the Restorative Care Pathway or End-of-Life Pathway. If approved for ongoing services, your parent then waits for government funding to become available through the Support at Home Priority System; the wait time depends on the priority category (urgent, high, medium or standard) and the date of approval.

When the funding is allocated, your parent receives a Funding Allocation letter. From the date of that letter, the family has 56 days to enter into a service agreement with a provider and start services. A 28-day extension is available by calling My Aged Care on 1800 200 422 for a total of 84 days. If services do not start in that window, the funding is withdrawn and reallocated, and your parent will need to rejoin the priority list.

Use the 56-day window to: (1) complete the income and assets assessment with Services Australia, which determines the contribution your parent pays; (2) talk to your local Just Better Care office; (3) agree on the mix of services and sign a service agreement; and (4) start the services. Your provider will work with you to develop a care plan and individualised budget, and provide a monthly statement so you can track spending.

If your parent is transitioning from an existing Home Care Package, any unspent funds carry across and can be used for assistive technology or home modifications.

Sources: My Aged Care, Assessment outcome: Support at Home; Department of Health, Disability and Ageing, How the Support at Home program works.

Will my parent get the same support worker each visit?

Continuity of support workers is the question families ask most often. At Just Better Care, the locally owned offices recruit, train and roster their own team members and work hard to send the same familiar faces each week. Continuity is particularly important for older people living with dementia.

We do not qualify for government funding. What are our options?

Private home care is the third pathway alongside the Commonwealth Home Support Program and Support at Home. It can be used on its own when a family is not eligible for government funding, or to add hours and services to an existing government-funded package.

How do I bring it up if my parents get defensive about ageing?

Pick a calm, low-pressure moment rather than a meal, an appointment or the immediate aftermath of a fall. Lead with one or two specific things you have noticed rather than a general statement about needing help. Start small, a few hours of domestic help once a week is much easier to accept than a full care plan.

I live interstate, can I still organise support for mum or dad?

Yes. A My Aged Care assessment can be requested by a family member with the older person's consent, either online or by phone, regardless of where the family member lives. Locally owned Just Better Care offices across Australia can also serve as the on-the-ground point of contact, with open communication back to family members interstate or overseas.

Helpful resources for families

Related reading

Worried about mum or dad?

Your local Just Better Care office is ready to talk you through what support could look like, with no pressure and no commitment.